Managing the Internet

What you can do

Make sure your children feel comfortable talking to you about their online experiences, both good and bad. Never threaten to take away Internet access as a punishment for something that happens (intentionally or not) to your children while they are online. Chances are your children will just find another way to go online, and this time they may not tell you about what they are doing there.


Keep your family’s computer in an open space in a common room

You want to be able to casually monitor what your child is doing. In addition, having a computer facing the corner of the room, or generally out of sight of other people, can make the user feel more isolated, making him or her more vulnerable to online risks.


Educate yourselfabout what your child is doing online

Make sure you are comfortable using the programs your child uses. If you don’t understand something, ask your child. This can be a great way to start conversations with your child.


Periodically review with your child his or her list of online contacts

If you don’t know someone listed, ask your child about that person. Search the Web for information about your family. Using a search engine, periodically search for your family members’ names on the Internet to see what comes up. You want to stay a step ahead of potential predators, and this is one way to find out what type of information they are able to access about your family. If your child is being cyberbullied, this is also one way you might detect hateful information about your child that is being posted online.


Install blocking or monitoring software on your family’s computer

There are many tools available to help you keep an eye on what your children are doing online. Make sure your children know that you have installed the software and why you have decided to do so. This may make them think twice before doing something online that they know is against your family’s rules. However, don’t forget that these are just tools; you should always supplement these tools with honest communication with your children.


Establish a Media Use Contract with each child in your family

It is important that you have a conversation with each child to set rules and limits that are appropriate for him or her. In your conversation, be explicit about how you intend to monitor your child’s online activities and what the consequences will be if the contract is broken. Once the contracts have been signed, post them next to your family’s computer as a reminder

Acceptable Use Policies may include the following:

• How long and under what circumstances the child may use the Internet (for example, one hour a day but only after chores are completed).


• The kinds of Internet material that they are to avoid, such as sexually explicit websites, instructions for bomb-making, and religious cults.


• The kinds of message traffic allowed or not allowed, such as e-mail, instant messages, and chat rooms.


• The kids' privacy rights (for example, under what, if any, circumstances would the adult read the child's e-mail, or know their password for online access).
• What the children should do if they have a disturbing experience online, such as seeing inappropriate content by mistake.


• That they should never give out personal information unless they have your permission and you know how and by whom the information will be used.


• What offline, in-person activities they are allowed to do as a result of their time online (for example, that they are not allowed to meet physically with someone they correspond with online unless they receive your permission or you are present to supervise).


• What will happen if they break the rules listed in the contract.